Sunday, 30 June 2019 21:24

Ten Years Later

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For five days I had been running, trying to be strong for others, trying to coordinate and trying not to let it get me. On the phone constantly, pacing the halls while on crutches; anybody who scowled at me, I scowled back. If anybody looked beyond that scowl and deeper into my eyes, they saw the hurt, disbelief and shock.  On the 5th day, the new reality began to sink in. It caught up to me and touched me.  I really do not like going back to this place, even now ten years later remembering in the days immediately following Quinton’s transition.  It is Quinton’s ten year angelversary and I remember the immensity of that cloak.

On the fifth day, laying curled up in a corner, despair wrapped itself around me. Where is Quinton, I wondered and I imagined him alone somewhere in the darkness.  This stifling vision gripped me; I had no religion or faith.  I knew not that life continues and is endless; I was a blank slate and I was now ready for something.  A close friend of ours burst into the room.  Was she excited or agitated, none of us there knew and began to despair anew, until she spoke.

I still remember the heaviness in the room, now ten years later, as she began to speak and we thought – “What next?” She said in a breathless voice as if she had been running, “I can only tell this once” as she urged us to gather. She began in earnest, telling us a Medicine Man in full gear came to her in the lobby of the Marriot Courtyard.  He grasped her hands and looked deeply into her eyes and said, “I have just finished performing a ceremony. A little boy sent me to find you.  He wants you to know he is fine and Tom is helping him with his transition.”  With this, a new door cracked opened.

The energy in the room changed, immediately. The somber expressions were replaced with gasps of surprise, joy, and even smiles with the revealing of something more.  All of this happened in a heartbeat and all of it before our minds had a chance to question any of it.  Within my gasp came the realization that Quinton lives… and the question, why didn’t I know the human experience worked this way?

Since, there have been signs from Quinton too numerous to count. With the passage of time comes a discernment and acknowledgement of his quiet voice.  I desperately want to share this knowledge with you; we desperately want to share the knowledge – all of our loved ones who have transitioned are quite alive in the spirit realm, but how best to share this information?  How can we help you when you are in the throes of your grief?  At some point, the words on this page are just that, words without meaning.  

Within a few short months, as I began to share the amazing and wondrous that Quinton was showing us, I promised myself to not pretend to be an authority on the topic of what our loved ones do after shedding their earthly bodies, instead speaking to a broader message of “Know There is More” and inviting you, dear friend to conduct your own research. By and large, I have honored this promise, but within this journey of experience, speaking with others and reading books by experts who have performed the research, I do have my own take.

I understand we all get to go; we all shed our earthly bodies and go home no matter how we lived or how we transitioned. I feel the pain and have heard the dogma associated with those who transition by suicide; they continue as well.  While I cannot speak to their thoughts and what their journey looks like on the other side, I can invite you to read books by authors like Michael Newton, Brian Weiss and James Van Praagh, especially Michael Newton.  While I don’t really understand the concept of Karmic Debt, I can invite you to read up on it yourself; maybe you can explain to me how the concept factors into our time here – in this latest version of ourselves.  Through it all though, I am reminded of the greatest of spiritual teachers in our history who implore us to Love one another (even our enemies), to Forgive (especially if it is ourselves) and Not to Judge others (even the face in the mirror).  With these three principles in hand, it is easier to navigate the waters of the human experience.

Ten years has passed and amidst the swirling drama, the Peace I seek is at hand. All I want for you, is to have the same.

Namaste,

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