Sunday, 27 January 2019 09:35

Tina Dougoud - She is Home Now

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I am the oldest of three children; my other two siblings are sisters, one is three years younger and the other is eight years younger than I. And now we dance with grief again.  I feel for my Mom and my remaining sister.

My middle sister, Tina Dougoud had a tough life from the start. Nothing came easy for her and she sometimes bore the brunt of our father’s anger because she looked a little bit different than the rest of the family, but she was 100% family.  I have learned so much over the years and have a rudimentary understanding of how the distribution of genes can be different from sibling to sibling.  Tina’s journey with being different was not spiritual. She was the black sheep of our family, but still you could see her light, at times anyway.  I remember just before we moved from New Jersey, I thought I saw progress in her, but when we arrived in Colorado, a new setting was too much for her and the progress was lost.

Throughout junior high school and high school Tina’s journey only became more challenging. When I went away to college she was in and out of detention centers, becoming unrecognizable to me on rare occasions when I did see her. I didn’t think highly of her and said as much to others who would chastise me for being judgmental or cruel.  She came back into the family a few of times with the entire family trying to help her with a job or housing, but whenever she was in our lives, she put all of us into turmoil with her manipulative ways.  In 1988, I invited her out of my life.

More than twenty years passed and it was Bill Lambert (my junior high tech arts teacher and track coach) who we were visiting with after Quinton transitioned that pushed me to reconnect, and I did. We visited in Phoenix and had a wonderful conversation, quite spiritual in fact. We stayed in sporadic contact as time passed, but soon she only called when she needed money.  I knew the score and loaned her some money, which was never paid back.   Still though when we did speak I would encourage her to beat her addictions and encourage her to keep trying.  There is so much love in her; I can see it in her eyes and hear it in her voice.  She was proud of us, proud of me to break the bonds we were exposed to all those many years ago.  It was good to see her, when we did.  Our last in depth conversation came a year or two ago.  She needed to talk and even though I was frustrated with her frequent relapses, I encouraged her yet again.  I wished her well and told her I loved her.

Late Saturday evening, January 12th I received two messages indicating Tina had been found face down in the snow, in a Walmart parking lot in northern Denver.  How long she had been there in the snow, we will never know, but at this point it appears that it may have been hours.  She was found, taken to the hospital, but never regained consciousness.  Within hours of the news, on Sunday morning, Tina sent me the most beautiful sign, letting me know she was alive and well on the other side.  I recognized it immediately.  My screen saver on my monitor rotates the hundreds of pictures saved on the computer, one at a time.  When I walked into my home office early in the morning and immediately saw 6 pictures in a row with Tina in them flash by on my monitor and I knew her journey here was over, and I was happy for her.

Why even write this sad tale, you may ask. Well, because there are not rules to how any of this works.  All of us are eternal and any of us can receive a sign from a loved one on the other side, and anyone on the other side can send a sign.  Our challenge is to recognize the sign. 

God Bless you Tina; you are home, we love you and we honor you.

Namaste,

P.S. What a beautiful sign you sent to Regina.  Truly amazing!  You are a special soul, Tina!

Tina and Kristine

Family pics 1.20.19

Read 327 times Last modified on Sunday, 27 January 2019 10:02

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