Wednesday, 17 October 2018 21:41

I See Your Hand in This

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As the days pass into weeks, weeks into months and months into years, I watch. I learned over this past nearly fifty-four years that I don’t have to react. Rarely do I make comment or attempt to intercede in the midst of a meltdown or disagreement amongst them. The only thing I do very nearly all the time is show my love with hugs, kisses, high fives, pounds and spending quality time.  This is the proverbial second chance and I can’t help but think of you, son. 

As time passes, I see changes. They seem sudden, but they are not.  When I am home, often, all three of the grandkids want to be with me.  The boys, Salvador-Quinton and Santino-Edgar, follow-me upstairs to my office; I let them come with me.  Sometimes they endeavor to be wild men, but more often lately, they behave – more so than usual. They were with me in the office after church and breakfast this past Sunday.  We even had some meditation time, all three of us.  Cheyanne come up and didn’t hear any yelling or screaming, and came to check on us.  She was amazed.  What is this?  How strong the connection and I think of you son; a second chance.

Last night, there was more. Kristine and I were sitting in the office, going over my medical history relating to an upcoming procedure.  It was after 8:00 p.m. and was the boy’s bedtime when they came upstairs, Quinton first and Santino second.  Santino wanted help buttoning his pajama top and brushing his teeth before bed.  I gladly obliged.  Then Quinton, he wanted the same.  We did our high fives and pounds and off to bed they went without fuss. 

Not long after, the house was dark and I needed to go downstairs. Santino sensed me passing in the darkness and I heard him move.  I stopped in the blackness and gave him a hug and a kiss, and then I heard Chay-Lee who is in the same room.  She very quietly called to me.  I walked over in the dark.  When I stood over her crib I saw her standing up, so I bent over and gave her a kiss, then she lay back down without a fuss.  She just wanted a kiss goodnight, like the boys.  All too often our three grand-children create a whirlwind, so this night was different, but it is becoming the norm.

Son, maybe I am changing and growing just like your nephews and niece. The only thing that makes sense anymore is Family.

Love you,

Dad

PS – For those of you still following and if you now think “there is nobody for me to connect with”. Well, there is, but we can’t connect with them in an empty room, sitting in front of a monitor or TV. We have to get out and be with people, even if that is scary.  We were not made to sit in a room alone or try to get a human connection that we crave and desperately, via social media.

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