Sunday, 26 November 2017 20:07

SHARING LOVE THIS HOLIDAY SEASON

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The Holidays are upon us and it is difficult at best, to be joyful for so many of us in this family of parents who have a child on the Other Side. But we are not the only ones on the planet, this school called Earth, who are in pain.  There is pain and suffering everywhere, as the news is sure to point out. 

I abhor the word “choice”, like we have a choice to be melancholy or not to be melancholy. It goes beyond choosing.  Our pain and grief must be felt, processed and maybe even burned away in fits of rage, tears and exertion.  And this comes in its own time.  There is no right or wrong way to grieve and it isn’t a race to get through it.  We know, don’t we?  But at some point, I implore you to take a chance and re-engage with the world.  For our benefit, yes, but also because the world needs us and our perspective that life is eternal because our kids have shown this to be.

What brings this on, you might ask. The Holidays for sure but also because of how I feel when I engage, not that I engage all the time.  I carry my burden as do many of you, and I honor it by not faking engagement. Too often still, I closet myself away but when I step out and interact in a meaningful way - when moved or even called to do so, typically I get more in return.

Naturally, doing so involves people. When Quinton transitioned I flatly said, “Don’t leave me alone” to those who came to our aid.  Now I tell myself, burn brighter and engage more because sometimes (even for me) it is easier to withdraw.  Interacting with the world is why I work now as a Realtor why I coach, write and speak. 

What brings this on, you might ask. Well it is when I speak to the young men on the football team.  Rarely do I talk to them about the X’s and O’s of the game; it is when I speak to them about the adversity they face and work through, there is a silver lining; being the best they can be; standing up for and protecting their brother / sister on the field of life; to be not only leaders, but leaders in doing what is right and good; to know they are held to a higher standard.  To share all of this and more, then to hear, “I feel you coach” or “Thank you Coach, I love you.”  I come to them in a spirit of Love as they were my own son (Quinton).  I come gently but serious and they respond accordingly.

Another example of the benefits of being involved and engaged with life and others is naturally with our grandchildren. To be more present with them than with our own children is in a way the definition of being a grandparent. Just being with them, present with them is a gift of love (both giving and receiving) that is a perfect example of what is available to us all – just by being engaged with others by sharing.  To have them come to us and cuddle; to hold them; to hear them say “I want to be with Grandpa” touches me so very deeply – beyond words which is my point.

It is said that our emotions guide us and point the way to how our hearts and souls want us to live. Turning away from love and turning our emotions off (oh, I am quite good at this) does us immeasurable harm.  So, get out there this holiday season and take a chance.  Share some love, even if it is a genuine and heart felt “Hi” to a stranger.  Hold somebody’s hand who is hurting and be there to listen.  With what we collectively have been through, doing so means more to the one on the receiving end than you may realize.  And don’t be surprised when you feel your heart smiling.

Enjoy the Holiday season my dear friends and fellow travelers.

Christmas 2008

Read 434 times Last modified on Sunday, 26 November 2017 20:26

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