Tuesday, 22 November 2016 08:32

To Be Heroic

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Kristine, Nellie and I just finished going to the movies.  We watched the one called ‘Sully’ on the IMAX screen and I wept through much of it.  I am sure you have heard of the real life event; despite being hit by a flock of birds just after takeoff at 2,800 feet, Captain Sully and his co-pilot were able to safely land the American Airlines flight on the Hudson Bay, with zero casualties! What a miracle and what heroic efforts by the captain, crew, passengers and first responders!  

Let me tell you, I have always felt an emotional pull when watching a hero do something heroic, whether it be real life or just in a movie.  Before Quniton’s transition I could hold my emotions at bay, but not anymore – now the tears flow and if I am alone somewhere I weep out loud.  Being a hero who is heroic to help others and not for acclaim touches my soul in a deep and mysterious way. As the movie came to an end, I not only thought of Quinton, but also of all of you – all of us whose children were called home before their parents.  It is not supposed to happen this way; this is backwards and it is the ultimate tragedy.  As I sat there during the end of this movie, the thought dawned on me; we are all heroes!  

For a parent, living after the transition of a child takes an unbelievably heroic effort.  There is no getting back to normal; this is a new normal, one where we just don’t know what to do.  First, we must grieve and this should take as long as we need.  Each day is a heroic effort, whether we openly grieve or fake normalcy so that we don’t upset those around us.  And as the world moves on, and we are left to face this awful new reality alone, living our lives takes a hero.

There is no right or wrong, no judgment from this sacred group.  We do the best we can.   Remarkably though, many of us, including those of you reading this newsletter, end up doing something even more amazing and heroic through our grief!  Somehow, some way, many of us gravitate toward being of service of others.  We help in any way we can; many of us to honor our transitioned child and some of us just because.  When you look at our actions, every day and with every person we meet, they are heroic.

So how does it feel to be a hero?  Some days we don’t feel heroic, but on others we just can’t help ourselves.  There is a person in need, a person grieving, a child looking for help in some way – and we reach out.  And it feels good.  We feel our child standing beside us in support and we can imagine that he or she is working through us to be of service. This is truly incredible.

So, my fellow heroes – go forth into another day where it will sometimes take a heroic effort just to greet the sun, then to meet the sun with a smile and finally to perhaps do something positive.  This could be something to help Mother Earth or a fellow traveler in this journey called life who is in need of emotional support, of a shift in perspective or simply of a smile.  

Blessings, fellow heroes! 

-Ernie and Kristine Jackson

 

Read 643 times Last modified on Wednesday, 04 January 2017 15:25

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