Thursday, 26 January 2017 20:35

Do Not Be Frightened

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Does it frighten you to know there is more?  More than this material world; more to this material world.  For so many of us, we go along with the view that this is all there is and as a result, get caught up in the drama and pursuit of material gain.  We get caught up in the competition for our own self-esteem. And we think there is nothing more.

So many are there within this view of reality, but for some of us, we get knocked upside the head and heart with a crowbar called death.  We lose a loved one, no matter how, who or when – we lose a loved one and our view of reality is shaken.  And even worse, some of us lose a child and our view of reality is all but destroyed, at the very least momentarily or worse - seemingly forever.

For those of us who have had a child die (transition), as we did – this was a crossroads.  And it is astounding how many of us are in this group.  And if you are not in this group, it is very difficult, if not impossible to understand us and our grief.  Some go away, thinking death might be contagious; some journey with us while others wonder when we will get back to “normal”.  There is no “getting back to normal”, for us it is a new normal.

But there is a flip side to this Divine and Awful Dichotomy, which is a gift of sorts.  The gift is Knowing There is More.   For so very many of us, we get signs from our deceased (transitioned) loved ones.  These signs are numerous and so direct and intense, that we who have experienced them KNOW our transitioned loved one made contact.  Some of us see and or hear our children, for some the visit is in crystal clear visions, some manipulate electricity and the list goes on and on!  It follows, if they made contact, they must still be alive. 

There are numerous books on this subject written by M.D.’s, Ph.D.’s, some who have used scientific methods to confirm and document.  These studies continue and are breaking amazing ground to make contact with our deceased loved ones more substantive, but that isn’t the point of this column.

Our son died and immediately provided us with signs.  We are not alone.  In our circles this is more the norm than exception.  The point here is this knowledge should be common across humanity!  The fact that we exist beyond the flesh is verifiable and undeniable, and has been spoken of for thousands of years.  So instead of being all caught up on the drama shoved down our throats via social media and programming, let’s begin to broaden our perspective.

Understand that because our transitioned loved ones are eternal, so are we!  Meditate on the fact that you are an eternal being – and then begin to look at your life differently.  Begin to consider your struggles, and how they may be making you stronger in some way and or teaching you something about yourself.  The lessons are numerous, lessons such as courage, love, faith, discovering our own strength – and this list goes on too.

We know that life is tough and seems to be getting tougher for so many, not only in for those of us in the United States, but all over the world.  When you are able to see beyond the material world and drama of the conflicts while embracing that all of us in this school house called Earth are eternal beings – then we begin to look at each other differently, maybe even think differently about one another. 

We invite you to read books that illustrate and explain the signs from spirit (they are numerous – including our own Quinton’s Messages and Quinton’s Legacy).  We also invite you to read Many Lives and Many Masters, Messages from the Masters by Brian Weiss, and Journey of Souls and Destiny of Souls by Michael Newton.  Reading these books will help you begin to see a larger picture of our time here, when you are ready to believe.

Many Blessings,

Ernie and Kristine Jackson

Wednesday, 04 January 2017 15:27

Finding the Collateral Beauty

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After seeing the previews months ago, we were excited about the new movie, Collateral Beauty.  The previews spoke to us, about grief, about the death of a child and a grieving father.  The previews showed a grieving man writing letters to Love, Time and Death.  We became even more excited.  We expected this movie to be profound and we were not disappointed.

This movie has layers, not unlike the layers of an onion.  How deep do you want to go?  On the surface, while a man grieving the transition of his daughter for more than two years continues to struggle, his business partners acting on behalf of their own self-interests hire actors to play Love, Time and Death, to basically make the grieving man look incompetent.  If this is as deep as you can go, you will hate the movie, but the movie goes much, much deeper than this.

As a fellow grieving parent, we appreciate the movie because it shares how tough it is after a child transitions.  As somebody whose son visited us from the other side, we can understand completely that the actors hired to portray Love, Time and Death where actually ethereal!  And as a member of this esteemed group called Helping Parents Heal, we understand Collateral Beauty all too well because after Quinton “died”, he started visiting us and sending us the most beautiful signs – all of which so moved us that we are here to help as many as we can.

As the movie progresses, we discover that the partners are in various stages of their own grief, (grieving the loss of love, the loss of health, and the loss of family) and are not dealing with it.  And within this whole dance called life, in a way they are actually helping each other, as are we.  Here lies some of the magic of the movie; regardless of specifics or motives, on some level, we are helping each other.

As for the story line, I was surprised as anyone else who saw it through.  I suspected something when Love said, “Shed your skin, begin your life” early in the movie, but it was fleeting.  I resonated with the main character saying “I am trying to fix my mind”, and then the grief group leader indicating that there is no fixing your mind, you lost a child.  I for one, understand that all too well as the things I once thought important are not, no matter how hard I try to make them important.  Now different things are important.  Yes, this is a completely new normal.

The story line and plot, maybe as our lives are too, is the vehicle to learn and grow.  The dialogue from Love, Time and Death to the main character and his partners is profound. “Don’t waste the time you have” – from Time; “You think you can live without me” – Love; “Heal your relationship with your daughter and you will see me again” – Love.  There are many more examples of profound dialogue in this movie that impacts us all, speaking for myself – this depends upon how many times I choose to see the movie.  It will be many.

The tears flowed as I realized the significance of the dominos.  I gasped out loud when I realized the relationship of some of the characters.  And I smiled when the bow was applied to the movie at the very end.  I recommend this movie to anyone who knows loss and who might be open to a broader view of our time here.

It matters not how or when we get it; it just matters that we do.

Blessings!

Wednesday, 04 January 2017 15:16

Christmas with Quinton

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I love being the first one up in the morning.  The peace and tranquility of it, and invariably this is when I hear the whispers of spirit.  This morning, December 14th I arose, poured my coffee and sat on the couch in the loft watching the weather channel, and then switched channels to find out who won the NBA games last night and then back to the weather channel.  Suddenly I found myself thinking of Quinton and Christmas.

There was one Christmas, one of the last Christmas’s with us in the physical realm that the Q and I surprised Kristine by putting up the tree together while she was out shopping.  There was something very special, calming, cool and peaceful about doing that with him – together.  This was very special to me and in hindsight – a gift to me.  Usually Kristine and I did the tree, so imagine her surprise and appreciation to come home and find the tree up and decorated already.

And then it all came crashing down, for you and I.  Suddenly our child transitioned, now on the other side of the veil, and us, we are left here in the material world.  And we grieved and struggled.  While we shared the gifts and blessings of knowing There is More as Quinton showed us, we didn’t put a tree or any Christmas decorations for at least three years, maybe more.  This tradition that Kristine and I usually did together, was no more.

We no longer felt like celebrating Christmas.  No decorations and no tree. While perfectly understandable, but at some point even that didn’t feel right.  One December in Arizona, I went to the local store, bought an artificial Christmas tree with the lights already installed and decorations.  Not long afterward I put the tree together, adding garland, additional lights and a star.  I am sure Quinton was with me.  Afterward I put lights on the house too.

No, it doesn’t feel the same, but it does feel better than no tree or decorations at all.  We put our presents under the tree and in the evenings we would sit nearby, watching the lights blink – and remember.  Not the same, but in progress. 

And now, there is new life.  Our grandsons are here and they are too young to really even get excited about Christmas, but the tree is up. Grandpa put it up one afternoon while they napped, and put up the exterior lights.  “Pretty” the oldest exclaims!  Wait until they meet Santa and then wake up to presents under the tree.

Quinton will undoubtedly be there too!

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

Ernie and Kristine

Tuesday, 22 November 2016 08:32

To Be Heroic

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Kristine, Nellie and I just finished going to the movies.  We watched the one called ‘Sully’ on the IMAX screen and I wept through much of it.  I am sure you have heard of the real life event; despite being hit by a flock of birds just after takeoff at 2,800 feet, Captain Sully and his co-pilot were able to safely land the American Airlines flight on the Hudson Bay, with zero casualties! What a miracle and what heroic efforts by the captain, crew, passengers and first responders!  

Let me tell you, I have always felt an emotional pull when watching a hero do something heroic, whether it be real life or just in a movie.  Before Quniton’s transition I could hold my emotions at bay, but not anymore – now the tears flow and if I am alone somewhere I weep out loud.  Being a hero who is heroic to help others and not for acclaim touches my soul in a deep and mysterious way. As the movie came to an end, I not only thought of Quinton, but also of all of you – all of us whose children were called home before their parents.  It is not supposed to happen this way; this is backwards and it is the ultimate tragedy.  As I sat there during the end of this movie, the thought dawned on me; we are all heroes!  

For a parent, living after the transition of a child takes an unbelievably heroic effort.  There is no getting back to normal; this is a new normal, one where we just don’t know what to do.  First, we must grieve and this should take as long as we need.  Each day is a heroic effort, whether we openly grieve or fake normalcy so that we don’t upset those around us.  And as the world moves on, and we are left to face this awful new reality alone, living our lives takes a hero.

There is no right or wrong, no judgment from this sacred group.  We do the best we can.   Remarkably though, many of us, including those of you reading this newsletter, end up doing something even more amazing and heroic through our grief!  Somehow, some way, many of us gravitate toward being of service of others.  We help in any way we can; many of us to honor our transitioned child and some of us just because.  When you look at our actions, every day and with every person we meet, they are heroic.

So how does it feel to be a hero?  Some days we don’t feel heroic, but on others we just can’t help ourselves.  There is a person in need, a person grieving, a child looking for help in some way – and we reach out.  And it feels good.  We feel our child standing beside us in support and we can imagine that he or she is working through us to be of service. This is truly incredible.

So, my fellow heroes – go forth into another day where it will sometimes take a heroic effort just to greet the sun, then to meet the sun with a smile and finally to perhaps do something positive.  This could be something to help Mother Earth or a fellow traveler in this journey called life who is in need of emotional support, of a shift in perspective or simply of a smile.  

Blessings, fellow heroes! 

-Ernie and Kristine Jackson

 

Sunday, 09 October 2016 13:32

By Honoring our Children, We Make a Difference

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By Honoring Our Children, We Make a Difference

Even in my former state of oblivion - the endless and often mindless pursuit of salary and title - I knew something significant.  I knew that our son, Quinton, was a special soul.  His gentleness, his sweetness, his goodness; the list goes on and on. 


I remember sitting in a conference at Marshdale Elementary with Quinton’s teacher and counselors as we discussed his struggles with reading.  They wanted to put him in an ILP program because he was behind and I told them, “that is fine and good, but if you damage his soul in any way, there will be hell to pay.”


I remember that before Quinton transitioned, he wanted to play football.  He was so interested that we went to some practices.  I watched the coaches, totally missing the good ones as I focused on those who were in it for their own egos-the strutting, arrogant coaches with their sunglasses and whistles.   I knew that if Quinton had to play for one of those coaches and if one negative word was said to damage my son’s psyche, I would damage them.  I was not going to allow this to happen, period.


And then Quinton transitioned to pure energy.  The old souls in my life, those who have known me for years, known me better than I knew myself, told me, “Ernie, you have to coach football!” How did they know, when I didn’t?


As a coach, I am less about the points scored and more about something else.  I am about the life lessons, being able to face adversity and to learn from it in some way.  When my players are struggling, either individually or collectively, I let them know that it is okay.  I share my family’s adversity, the passing of Quinton, and I introduce him to them.   I let them know that he is the reason that I now stand before them – they are now all my sons.


I coach to be able to look young people in the eyes, to see their pain and to face it. To be able to walk up to them and ask, “Are you okay?”  To reassure them that it will all work out.  And finally to experience the exchange of energy between us when they realize that at that moment they are like a son to me and that someone cares!  Someone cares deeply, all because of Quinton. 


After a tough loss this past fall, the players were distraught.  Many were crying, and others were despondent because they had given it their all.  The setting allowed me to explain my belief that there is always something to learn by going through adversity. 


A few weeks ago, my wife Kristine sat next to a woman in the stands who told her that her son was on the football team. He had just learned that his injury would prevent him from ever playing football again, and he told his Mom about the encouraging message he had received from ‘Coach Jackson.'   Hearing this later made my day.


It is good to know that we are making a difference.  And we invite each of you to know that you can also make a difference.  Yes, it sucks that your son or daughter has transitioned, and they are with us spiritually instead of physically.  However, while we are all still here in the physical world, let’s make a difference. Let’s share our wisdom, our love and our newfound perspective with someone who can benefit from it.  And by helping others, we will help ourselves.


And this is a blessing, for them as well as for us!

-Ernie and Kristine Jackson