Saturday, 16 March 2019 20:38

The Work

Written by

The irony of this journey does not escape me. I, like everybody else on the planet, am not perfect.  Fundamentalists would have me say I am born in sin.  This statement rubs me raw as the infamous “they” say the same of Quinton.  On the other hand, in taking a higher perspective, a perspective above the dogma and divisive commentary, I understand what “they” are trying to say.  They are trying to say, none of us are perfect and all of us come here because we have something to learn, experience and do.  In saying it that way, is it any more palatable? Well, it is for me.

In this place of being less than perfect, although I have made mistakes, hurt others and am constantly moving in repeating cycles. Through it all, at times I have been of service.  That being of service expanded after Quinton transitioned and showed me There is so very much More, through his visits and signs.  How is that for irony? It took Quinton’s transition to open my eyes. I really had no choice, other than to leap down the rabbit hole, past the dogma, to understand how it was all possible.  What I discovered was a much broader vision of our reality, a broad vision that encompasses every single human being on the planet and every spirit not currently incarnated.  It is a beautiful vision.

For much of my adult life, I remember saying, “Either you are part of the solution or part of the problem.” That is right, I actually would say this at times, while Quinton was still with us and now that Quinton is in spirit (and still with us).  The truth of this statement is even more relevant. This thought is very much related to the Cherokee story about two wolves battling for dominance; one embodies anger, greed, insecurities, hate, and fear while the other embodies love, forgiveness, peace, and gentleness.  The question is which one wins and the answer is, the one you feed.  So, am I part of the solution or part of the problem?  And being human, the answer is I am both at times, but I would like to say I am over the fifty-four years in this version of myself, I have improved.

In this place, there are choices. Do I continue even trying or do I slip into the background?  Lord knows, slipping into the background is all too easy, the proverbial, head to the hills and forget about it all.  Within that thought and the peace within it, I am called to serve.  Hmmm – even more irony.  The phone rings and I find myself on three Boards of Directors.  Two of them are relevant to my theme here, Helping Parents Heal and The Unity of Phoenix Spiritual Center.

The Mission Statement for HPH is as follows: Helping Parents Heal is a non-profit organization dedicated to assisting bereaved parents, giving them the support and resources to aid in the healing process. We go a step beyond groups by allowing the open discussion of spiritual experiences and evidence for the afterlife in a non-dogmatic way.

The Mission Statement for the Unity of Phoenix Spiritual Center is: Unity of Phoenix Spiritual Center is a loving spiritual community that welcomes all people and honors all paths to God. We are dedicated to transforming lives by inspiring and awakening individuals to discover God’s Spirit within them.

I am sure the see similarities and given you are on Quinton’s website, I expect you see both mission statements are lock step and consistent with what we learned after Quinton transitioned. This is the easy part as I still attempt to serve, help others see a broader view of our time here in this version of ourselves and the institutions that do the same.  In being part of both these Boards, I am working with eagles and in doing so I have the opportunity for even more personal growth as I work with organizations who also committed to help others see something of a larger picture, those who are ready to see.

My wish for you is to keep moving forward, keep learning and keep growing. It isn’t easy; it is challenging.  It is too easy to stagnate, fall prey to the bad news broadcast throughout the news and social media, and give up.  However, the silent majority not reported on is growing, learning, and are helping others in every way imaginable.  They are being part of the solution both for their own spiritual growth and for those of others.  At the end of the day, it is a choice. 

Which wolf are you feeding, day in and day out, minute by minute?

Namaste

 

Sunday, 27 January 2019 09:35

Tina Dougoud - She is Home Now

Written by

I am the oldest of three children; my other two siblings are sisters, one is three years younger and the other is eight years younger than I. And now we dance with grief again.  I feel for my Mom and my remaining sister.

My middle sister, Tina Dougoud had a tough life from the start. Nothing came easy for her and she sometimes bore the brunt of our father’s anger because she looked a little bit different than the rest of the family, but she was 100% family.  I have learned so much over the years and have a rudimentary understanding of how the distribution of genes can be different from sibling to sibling.  Tina’s journey with being different was not spiritual. She was the black sheep of our family, but still you could see her light, at times anyway.  I remember just before we moved from New Jersey, I thought I saw progress in her, but when we arrived in Colorado, a new setting was too much for her and the progress was lost.

Throughout junior high school and high school Tina’s journey only became more challenging. When I went away to college she was in and out of detention centers, becoming unrecognizable to me on rare occasions when I did see her. I didn’t think highly of her and said as much to others who would chastise me for being judgmental or cruel.  She came back into the family a few of times with the entire family trying to help her with a job or housing, but whenever she was in our lives, she put all of us into turmoil with her manipulative ways.  In 1988, I invited her out of my life.

More than twenty years passed and it was Bill Lambert (my junior high tech arts teacher and track coach) who we were visiting with after Quinton transitioned that pushed me to reconnect, and I did. We visited in Phoenix and had a wonderful conversation, quite spiritual in fact. We stayed in sporadic contact as time passed, but soon she only called when she needed money.  I knew the score and loaned her some money, which was never paid back.   Still though when we did speak I would encourage her to beat her addictions and encourage her to keep trying.  There is so much love in her; I can see it in her eyes and hear it in her voice.  She was proud of us, proud of me to break the bonds we were exposed to all those many years ago.  It was good to see her, when we did.  Our last in depth conversation came a year or two ago.  She needed to talk and even though I was frustrated with her frequent relapses, I encouraged her yet again.  I wished her well and told her I loved her.

Late Saturday evening, January 12th I received two messages indicating Tina had been found face down in the snow, in a Walmart parking lot in northern Denver.  How long she had been there in the snow, we will never know, but at this point it appears that it may have been hours.  She was found, taken to the hospital, but never regained consciousness.  Within hours of the news, on Sunday morning, Tina sent me the most beautiful sign, letting me know she was alive and well on the other side.  I recognized it immediately.  My screen saver on my monitor rotates the hundreds of pictures saved on the computer, one at a time.  When I walked into my home office early in the morning and immediately saw 6 pictures in a row with Tina in them flash by on my monitor and I knew her journey here was over, and I was happy for her.

Why even write this sad tale, you may ask. Well, because there are not rules to how any of this works.  All of us are eternal and any of us can receive a sign from a loved one on the other side, and anyone on the other side can send a sign.  Our challenge is to recognize the sign. 

God Bless you Tina; you are home, we love you and we honor you.

Namaste,

P.S. What a beautiful sign you sent to Regina.  Truly amazing!  You are a special soul, Tina!

Tina and Kristine

Family pics 1.20.19

Sunday, 27 January 2019 09:17

The Continuity of Life & The Power of Prayer

Written by

The evening of January 15th, I was on Karl Fink program Streaming for the Soul to discuss forgiveness and the signs from our loved ones across the veil that so beautifully illustrate there is no death, only a transition to another form.  During the initial airing of the program, Jann Kraus was watching.  Jann is a certified hypnotherapist and past life regression therapist who has been actively teaching and doing light work for 47 years.  She gave me permission to share the below.

Approximately four years ago Jann went to a very good medium named Julie. During that reading both her mother and grandmother had shown up to speak with her, but there was a young boy who showed up as well.  He was so excited, jumping all over the place in fact, so much so her mom and grandmother in spirit could barely get a word in.  The boy was about 8 years old and thanked Jann for “helping him”.  Jann struggled to connect the dots, initially not even knowing who he could be, but when she hung up she remembered something her son had shared with her within two months prior to her reading with Julie.

Her son’s wife was a minister and actively involved with counseling two families, one of whom had a son (Spencer) dying of cancer and the other family had a son with a mildly autistic condition. The two boys ended up being best friends.  Spencer would encourage his friend by telling him he had “super bots” that made him strong and kept anyone from hurting him. The day came that nothing else could be done for Spencer and his family took him home for his transition and soon, he became non-responsive.  Arrangements were made to bring Spencer’s best friend to see him, but he remained unresponsive until his friend mentioned “super bots” and told him that they would now make him strong – and Spencer opened his eyes, the two friends locked gazes, and then Spencer transitioned.

Jann’s son shared the above with her and it broke her heart. Jann cried and prayed for Spencer, his family and for his best friend.  In her prayer to Spencer she “recalled telling Spencer to look for a bright light and that we was safe and that Jesus would find him.”  As she realized he was the little boy who dropped in during the session with the medium, she marveled how all of it came together.  She was in a complete state of awe that she, a perfect stranger’s caring and prayer can actually help someone on the other side!  This was a wonderful lesson for her, as she stated in her letter to me, but a wonderful lesson for me as well.

Here at Helping Parents Heal, we help you come to terms with your child’s transition and eventually come to realize that they continue to exist in a different form. We do this by giving you a safe place to discuss the signs, signs that come in all manner of ways.  A person has to be living to send us a sign!  Life continues and there is a continuity of life.  The above incident drives that home yet again.  We are energy, we are spiritual beings having a human experience which segues directly to the power of prayer.  I don’t know about you, but I have to meditate on that a bit to let that sink in.  I understood we could affect each other energetically here in the physical realm, but haven’t given it much thought that we could do the same to our loved ones across the veil.  This is truly incredible for some of us and for others – they have known it all along.

We are wishing you the best for the New Year! May your year be filled with epiphanies and purpose, for we are still here, so each of us has a purpose as we continue to learn and experience the Divine.

Namaste,

Wednesday, 02 January 2019 07:15

My New Shoulder

Written by

For nearly thirty years, or maybe more, my left shoulder has given me fits. On our first date nearly twenty-seven years ago, I bumped Kristine on her head as I tried to put my arm around her while at a movie.  Why she kept seeing me and eventually marrying me, I will never really fully understand.

Nearly three decades have passed and in those decades I had two procedures. The first was an orthoscopic surgery and the second was called a “hemi”, where the end of my humerus was replaced with titanium that I affectionately called a door stop.  When I had that surgery, some twelve years ago or so, Dr. Steven Traina told me, next time it will be a full replacement.  Next time arrived, after putting it off for as long as I could, to the point of using the arm less and less.

Things have changed so much. I went in to an orthopedic surgeon in Phoenix (Dr. Tyler Collins) and basically told him what I needed to have done, and he asked when do you want to have surgery?  We picked a date and I began to prepare mentally and spiritually.  You see, I was consistently being told a shoulder replacement was the most difficult of the replacements.  Interestingly, when I told some what I was going to have done, they would look sad; shake their head and say, “I am sorry”.  My response was, “thanks”.  So I prepared for hell on earth and I prepared for the toughest test of my life.

I have already been through hell on earth, obviously. Through the fires of experiencing Quinton transition came the most amazing experiences and realization that we are all eternal.  With this knowledge, I look at each and every challenge, accident and bit of bad news as a learning experience.  With this knowledge in hand, I was ready. 

Surgery was November 2nd and I had been advised very forcefully to begin the pain management program before the nerve block wore off.  I was told of numerous wives who had called the doctor about thirty six hours after their husband’s surgery in a panic because their spouse was in unbelievable pain.  The common denominator in each instance was they had felt so good that they did not begin the pain management as instructed.  That would have been me ten years ago or so, but now older and wiser, I understand that the rules and advice apply to me too.  You see, I am not super human, even though I thought I was all those years ago.

Much to my surprise, everything went smooth. I followed instructions regarding pain management and was off the meds in a week, then started physical therapy exactly two weeks after surgery.  Three weeks after surgery I ditched the sling and asked during every step, what can I do and what shouldn’t I do at this point.  Seven weeks after surgery I asked and was told that could push it, as far as reps, just nothing more than ten lbs.  Eight weeks after surgery, during a PT session I had a bit of an epiphany as I continued to notice how my shoulder is becoming stronger and more flexible.  My epiphany was, it wasn’t about the weight I was using, but it was about being consistent and being grateful.

This seems so simple and obvious, but the epiphany was powerful. I am an individual that has accomplished much, but measure each day’s activity by what was accomplished in the past with the end result being disappointed with where I am now and giving up the path.  Does this make sense?  So here I am in Physical Therapy for my new shoulder being grateful and pleased that I can lift my arm at all.  Here I am being grateful for the slightest improvement as now I am able to lift my arm while holding a 1 lb. weight.  This is where it hit me.  The journey isn’t about how much lift or to what heights I reach; it is about being consistent with my activity as I move to an intended outcome, and being grateful.  So simple and in this simplicity, there is no reason for disappointment, only consistent movement forward and through whatever obstacles arise. 

My shoulder is doing great and thank you for asking. I already have a better range of motion than I have had in decades and it has only been two months.  While still weak, my strength is slowly improving a day at a time.  All I need to do is be consistent with my activity relating to my arm, my goals in life while enjoying all the blessings heaped upon us over the years and have faith that it will all workout. What is ironic is, in this place of peace, more Good arrives.

And so it is…

Wednesday, 02 January 2019 07:06

Our Power and Our Responsibility

Written by

I don’t remember being fixated with trees during the first twelve years of my life, living in New Jersey, maybe because there were trees everywhere. Big deciduous tree forests that grew fast and dropped a lot of beautifully colored leaves in the fall; trees were just there and I probably took them for granted.  That changed when we moved to Colorado.

I had just turned twelve years old when we moved. We had visited the year prior while on vacation and I was captivated by the Rocky Mountains.  When we moved a year later, we settled in Conifer at about 8,300 hundred feet above sea level.  Our two acres had been part of a pea farm, or so we were told, so we had zero trees on the lot or pretty much in the immediate community.  After growing up with trees everywhere, the entire family found this odd, but for some reason it especially irked me.

Through the turmoil called my family, in those seemingly rare moments of tranquility, at times we would come together, once to plant couple of trees. However, the growing season at 8,000 feet plus above sea level in Colorado was considerably shorter that at sea level in New Jersey.  Most of the trees we planted lived, but they grew incredibly slow.  I watched and watered them, and checked them constantly. By the time I was gone, the trees while still alive, they hadn’t grown much at all, but I was hooked.

When I arrived to Phoenix, I realized it was very hot and I quickly learned the significance of shade. And so my passion for trees began in earnest.  When I purchased my first house, I researched a bit and planted a Goldwater Pine. This tree originated in Southwestern Asia, thrives in heat, drought and wind and is extremely fast growing.  I planted the tree myself, kept it fertilized and watered it on a regular basis.  Daily I was out looking at the tree, monitoring it, assessing the new growth and watching it grow.  Often, due to water, fertilizer the tree would grow three feet a year.  I have since realized there was another key ingredient.  When I sold the house and we moved, the tree and subsequent trees I had planted died.  Note to residents in the desert southwest, although trees may look healthy, they will always need to be watered on a regular basis.

Our next house was on a cul-de-sac on a third of an acre. The back yard was huge and naturally, given we were in a new subdivision, it was treeless.  You know what I did; I planted trees, thirty nine in total.  Of the thirty-nine, twelve were queen palms around the new pool, two fruit trees and the rest pine’s.  These trees were my passion.  I would walk around the yard several times a week and assess their health while monitoring the rapid growth.  My mom and sister reminded me of a story that I had actually forgotten. They had coordinated with Kristine to surprise me with a visit and unbeknownst to me, they were hidden inside our home when I arrived.  They heard the garage open and close, and waited to jump out at me in our bedroom, only I never came.  They waited and waited; finally my Mom went searching for me and found me in the backyard.  She watched as I made the rounds, one tree at a time.  At each tree I would stop and envelope them with love.  She crept silently behind me and asked, “Do they talk back to you?” 

Good times and even better memories; this is me in my element, but recently I realized that there is a parallel. It is going to sound obvious, but the same applies to those we meet whether that is a child (especially a child in fact) or someone hurting in some way.  We are all energetic beings and we affect each other energetically, sometimes only a little and at other times a lot. This is a beautiful truth and an amazing power we have.  With it, we can comfort, help and support each other.  And with this power comes grave responsibility, especially with children and those hurting in some way.  Let us strive together to be part of the solution instead of part of the problem.

Let us help one another on this journey.

Happy New Year!