Monday, 17 August 2020 21:46

Divine Appointments

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Our time here is a series of Divine Appointments, those significant moments that matter. A divine appointment could be when you met your partner, when you or a loved one executes a task agreed upon in a shared soul contract, or when you meet a person for the first time by the universes’ guiding. They are all a matter of Divine Appointments, but it is incredibly moving to show up at that perfect time to serve.

I had an appointment with a vender, scheduled for 10:00 a.m. on a Monday morning. He called me in the 8:00 o’clock hour, his voice heavy with emotion, informing me he had to cancel. His emotion came through loud and clear; I asked if everything was alright and it was then he shared “there was a death in the immediate family.” My heart leapt out of my body at that moment. I knew I had to stand with him. Later that day he rescheduled our appointment at the job site, for two days later at 10:00 a.m.

We showed up at the appointed time. I stepped out of my vehicle and he his. His grief, bewilderment and confusion all were visible beneath his (gotta get back to work) veneer. He was struggling to hold it together as he was trying to work without having begun to process the impossible. We had shown up for our Divine Appointment.

Starting slowly and gingerly, I introduced myself and Quinton, letting him know we are here to help and that we have experience in matters such as these. He began to shift as he realized that he and his family were not alone. I underscored that dawning realization in his demeanor by letting him know there are thousands of us, parents in a group called Helping Parent’s Heal who know the pain and know the path, and all of us stand with him.

This gentleman was all ears. He briefly explained how his step-daughter transitioned and I let him know the specifics of the transition matter not, and that she still is. During our earnest conversation I pointed out that I hadn’t used the word “dead” or “died,” but instead used the word “transitioned”. He said, “I noticed that.” I let him know, that even in the beginning stages of his and his partner’s grief journey, his step-daughter still exists and moreover, he is now part of a large family that when they are ready – we can help.

Usually, when meeting somebody so early in the journey, I simply listen while trying not to go too far down the path of “Knowing There is More”, but towards the end of our appointment, I told him that his six year old step-son may be the one to get the signs from his sister first. I told him not to be surprised and to listen and encourage him, for they too will receive those signs at some point as well. I said all of this carefully, indicating it may take time to recognize those signs and that is okay.

We had been fist bumping and bumping elbows occasionally during our conversation because of Covid, but at the end of our meeting I waived him in and wrapped him in a hug. Brother you are not alone, the words and hug from above clearly told him. As we parted ways, I looked back and noticed him sitting in the passenger seat of his vehicle, weeping; weeping tears of gratitude that such a Divine Appointment was made and kept. He told all of his family about the meeting, the conversation and the glimmer of hope they provided. He told them, “Today I met an angel”.

Well, this is not about me and I am not an angel. Not many of us are, except maybe Elizabeth Boisson, co-Founder of Helping Parents Heal. My point here is, each and every one of us, from time to time will be tapped on the shoulder with an indication, “you are up; you have a Divine Appointment. Go, stand with that person and I will provide you with the words to say, and the knowledge of how best to provide comfort and support.” The Divine works in mysterious way, allowing each of us to be an instrument of healing, while we heal.

Peace and Love

Ernie and Kristine

Quinton’s parents

Sunday, 19 July 2020 17:57

And The Band Played On

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I first heard that phrase in the Temptations song, “Ball of Confusion”, released in 1970. The song is a definite period piece highlighting and listing so much that our planet struggles with ending the refrain “and the Band Played On”, but I have another take on the phrase and often using another phrase from the same song, “and oh the beat goes on”.

Right or wrong, I more often than not engage with the world through my job and now I am pleased to report, I have a new one where I hope and intend to finish my commercial real estate career. This is a job that requires more of me and requires me to engage more than I have engaged in a while; it is the perfect job and moreover, feels like a homecoming of sorts. In this state of mind I describe, my light glows a bit brighter and naturally, it is even more evident that Quinton is with me. While I write it, I walk it too. All that Quinton has shown me, all that I have written about and all that I have spoken about equates into a perspective shift that gives a slightly different view of the issues we are dealing with in our country.

As I visited with a tenant in a building I manage, we discussed the pain and despair that is Covid-19. And it is a despair that many have never known, except for those of us who know otherwise. At that moment, I introduced her to Quinton. And so it goes, I share the proverbial bombshell being Quinton transitioned from physical form at nine and one-half years old; letting that set the stage for a moment only, then sharing several ways he visited and gave us wonderful signs. (Yes, after more than eleven years, I still share – because these truths need to be shared!) If this be construed as a lesson then First, there is all manner of adversity; Second, in reality, we are not to compare because, Third nearly always there is a silver lining or a lesson to be learned from facing the adversity.

Naturally, sharing Quinton’s signs and visits set the stage for her to share that after her mother transitioned, she graced her brother with all manner of signs. She shared that on one occasion while her brother was sitting on the end of his bed, he felt their transitioned Mom sit down next to him! I have heard in person and read of just that very thing happening several times! As she shared, she pointed out that her brother was so lucky because he received so many signs, leaving her feeling a bit left out that she hadn’t. And then she immediately launched into telling me that recently she was cooking dinner, using a recipe that her Mom had passed down to her. She shared that as she cooked she saw her Mom’s hands superimposed over hers. I smiled broadly and pointed out, “Well, that is an incredible sign from your Mom!” Then she smiled with an introspective expression, and agreed.

I thank Quinton for walking with me; he is always subtly there with the gift of perspective. Yes there is pain and adversity, trials and tribulations for us all. Here is the kicker, it (our time here) isn’t necessarily supposed to be easy. It is within the struggle and pain, where the lessons we agreed to learn as part of our soul contracts, are mastered. I recently re-read for the umpteenth time a line from Many Lives, Many Masters by Brian Weiss, M.D. To paraphrase and elaborate, he wrote that while learning on the other side or out of a book has value, it is coming to School House Earth to learn those lessons with all of the associated emotions (the pain, the love, the fear, the acceptance, the rage, and the grace, etc.) that creates the mastery of the lesson(s).

And the Band Plays On as we continue to grow, learn and evolve toward our higher selves. I have read time and time again from different authors, that we as spirits are lined up to incarnate here. It is here that we can experience a full spectrum of life; of joy, of love, of taste, smell sound and sight; and it is here we continue to evolve.

As odd as this seems, all is as it is supposed to be (just look at human history as we repeat it over and over). You can argue and point out the needless suffering, the divisive words and hate. Yes I say – but even in that or especially in that, we have THE opportunity to choose our path.   We can learn to Be Love and To Love; we can choose to be part of the solution or part of the problem – without judgement…

And the Beat Goes On – As the Band Plays On…

May Peace and Love envelope you on your journey of a lifetime as you face your challenges head on.

Namaste,

Sunday, 28 June 2020 19:34

All That We Are Not

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The below is from a book written by Mark Nepo titled The Book of Awakening. Mark is a cancer survivor and has a perspective like so many of us who have been through hell only to emerge stronger and better in some way. His book has daily bits of wisdom that he lovingly shares with the reader. This entry on June 28th is so on point as each and every one of us is here to be chiseled upon as we grow and evolve. Our trials and tribulations are not random, although it may seem as such.

June 28th

All That We are Not

Discernment is a process of letting go of what we are not.

Father Thomas Keating

“I can easily over-identify with my emotions and roles, becoming what I feel: I am angry… I am divorced… I am depressed… I am nothing but my confusion and my sadness…

 

“No matter how we feel in any one moment, we are not just our feelings, our roles, our traumas, our prescription of values, or our obligations or ambitions. It is so easy to define ourselves or our obligations or ambitions. It is so easy to define ourselves by the moment of struggle we are wrestling with. It is a very human way, to be consumed by what moves through us.

 

“In contrast, I often think of how Michelangelo sculpted, how he saw the sculpture waiting, already complete, in the uncut stone. He would often say that his job was to carve away the excess freeing the thing of beauty just waiting to be released.

 

“It helps me to think of spiritual discernment in this way. Facing ourselves, uncovering the meaning in our hard experiences, the entire work of consciousness speaks to a process by which we sculpt away the excess, all that we are not; finding and releasing the gesture of soul that is already waiting, complete, within us. Self-actualization is the process applied to our life on Earth. The many ways we suffer, both inwardly and outwardly, are the chisels of God freeing the thing of beauty that we have carried within since birth.”

Our time here has meaning in ways we may understand and in ways that we haven’t conceived just yet. Maybe the quote from Sogyal Rinpoche, The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying shared by an acquaintance can add some perspective:

“Without any real or authentic faith in the afterlife, most people live lives deprived of any ultimate meaning.”

In imploring you as I have over the past eleven years to Know There is More, understand the More I refer to, is so much more than even I can conceive. We are certainly more that our pain and the forces that are so intent on dividing us from each other. Yet still, our pain and the turmoil in the world today do have a purpose of a sort; they provide a rocky and slippery slope for us to plant our feet, take a stand and endeavor to be part of the solution instead of part of the problem. Even more to point, it is in this stance, we not only find our moral strength, we further evolve toward “the thing of beauty we have carried within since birth.”

In Knowing There is More, appreciate it goes beyond understanding each of us is more similar to one another than not. Recognize that we are the same, part of a greater whole. We are all on the same path, just at different points along the path. What does this mean you may ask? For one, we are eternal; Quinton showed me this, as have all those who have shared with me their experiences of their transitioned loved ones connecting with them. This is what Sogyal Rinpoche’s quote above refers to. Second, all that we allow ourselves to be divided by (color, race, sexuality, political party, religion and the list goes on), none of it exists when we go home; none of it really matters. As we each grow and evolve, we see the truth and realize the drama of trying to make us fear one another is a lie.

Can we solve and conditions that have plagued human kind since inception? No, but we can take a stand as individuals working together to make progress toward that goal.

Peace and Love unto you,

Quinton’s Dad

 

Saturday, 27 June 2020 10:35

It is 5:30 in the Morning

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It is 5:30 in the morning in the valley of the sun. Folks get up early in the summer to enjoy more reasonable temperatures. It is 5:30 in the morning, and many want to connect, ever so briefly, in these challenging times. The covid-19 pandemic has isolated us and maybe the chickens may finally be coming home to roost regarding the racism interwoven into the foundation of this great nation. Together, these two issues and more have divided us – but still, we want to connect.

I am one of them, craving that brief smile and hearty hello. When I do walk, I greet nearly everyone that crosses my path while giving them a wide covid-19 – 6 foot or more distance. More often than not, those I see acknowledge me first, as was the case on the first day of summer, June 20th as forest and high desert fires raged on the eastern horizon. The sun rose behind a wall of smoke, casting the dawn in a fiery red glow. A man approached, asking if I had noticed it as he walked East and I West. Yes, it was a glorious morning. Another approached with her dog. Good Morning I called out from across the street. She greeted me the same and wondered out loud why everyone wasn’t up to enjoy such a glorious morning before the desert heat descended upon the valley. I wished her well and left her with a hearty “God Bless You”! She smiled even more broadly as the blessing touched her and blessed me as well.

We are good people and we just want to connect in fellowship.

Peace,

Thursday, 26 March 2020 14:51

Here We Stand!

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Well, here we are, in a unique situation. We have been through hell and now, here we stand. We stand resolute and strong. We are strong in the Knowledge that we are eternal. We know this because our children show this with their amazing visits and signs. There are no accidents and this isn’t an accident either.

Over the years I have said on numerous occasions, “Once you understand, once you get there by owning the Knowledge, you have a sacred Responsibility to help others get there too.” And now, here we are in a dire time, where our perspective is needed.

Last week, I sat in on a webinar put on by my employer, about the virus covid-19. The whole point of the virus was to help all the employees from a psychological perspective of grieving their loss of normalcy. During this webinar it struck me, the tools and processes being presented reminded me of the initial stages of getting acquainted with a new normal after Quinton transitioned. What further dawned on me was that much of our population was at a loss of what to do and even possibly, who they are without their routines and titles.

We know all about this, don’t we? This is adversity; there will be pain, discomfort and hardship. As we know, after the initial woe is me mindset, something quite magical is possible like the Phoenix rising out of the ashes. Some may call it the silver lining or in our case, the Collateral Beauty. It is already becoming evident as some begin to wake up to what needs to be done. Maybe some more are waking up to deciding to be part of the solution, as opposed to part of the problem. Can it be so simple and far reaching? After going through Hell and emerging better for it, the answer is yes.

Collectively and on some level, we signed up for this and in some way it is for our betterment. Suddenly, there is a clearer focus on what is important – our family, our friends and how we may be of service to those less fortunate than ourselves. Seeing the impact of a smile, a kind word, encouragement, acknowledgement and listening – the impact of being present with someone, even if for a moment is tangible. We are all in this together. Realization of this simple fact is part of the Silver Lining. We allow ourselves to be separated by so very many descriptors, but a situation such as covid-19 wipes away many of the labels we allow to divide us.

Transitioning away from a physical form to a non-physical form, this too wipes away the labels we allow to divide us, as it is the same for all. We are all the same. We are all human beings or maybe more to the point; we are indeed spiritual beings having a human experience. So what are we to learn from this human experience, individually? I truly believe we don’t need to consider the macro-view, because that is beyond our control, at least initially. What are we to learn as an individual? I can think of no better opportunity to focus on this.

Life is an opportunity, an opportunity we all signed up for. Let’s make the most of this, grow from it and help others cope and even grow as well by sharing what we know.

Namaste,

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