Saturday, 07 August 2021 12:44

Quinton's Corner

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Mike Edwards, co-chair of the Helping Father’s Heal affiliate group asked me to speak at their meeting on July 21st. Naturally, in the days leading up to the talk I am thinking more and more about Quinton, what he showed me, his signs and their implications. July 21st came; dressing for work I wore a red dress shirt, one of Quinton’s favorite colors to help me keep my focus during the work day.

Arriving home about an hour before the Zoom meeting, immediately I noticed an unusual occurrence. As I looked out the kitchen window, there was a small hummingbird at the window, flitting around and seemingly looking at me. When I moved to another window, here came the hummingbird and actually peacefully perched on a planter adjacent to the window. I called to my wife, Kristine to come see too. This went on for several minutes as I was reminded of Quinton’s signs during the first several months after he transitioned, when the hummingbirds were doing things they had never done before. Ah, another sign from Quinton as I prepare to join the Zoom call. “Hi Quinton, I love you” – I say out loud.

The meeting begins and there were about fifteen or twenty gentlemen on the call. Mike has done a very nice job creating a safe space to attract more fathers to the group where we can share our pain, struggles and those wonderful signs our children send to us. Helping Parents Heal and its affiliates are about creating that safe place where we help others heal and in doing so further our own healing. I find it fascinating that it works this way; it must be some sort of spiritual constant.

Whenever I speak about our son, I lean heavily on the signs which I initially described as aha moments, all those years ago. When speaking on those spectacular epiphanies, automatically a safe space is provided for others to share the signs they have received. This is always an uplifting conversation, but usually there is a vibe of wanting more signs which is quite natural. We all want more signs as they lift our spirits and demonstrate our child still is. During our talk a gentleman indicated that he doesn’t get signs even though he asks for them. This was a great conversation as other fathers on the call provided guidance and emotional support. Doing my part I offered to meet in person to help him remember or realize the signs he actually has received. As this conversation continued he shared, “well there was this one time when I was discussing my son a shooting star flew across the sky”. We all smiled and said, sounds like a sign to us and a pretty spectacular sign as well! He agreed! Let us acknowledge the signs we are blessed to recognize and remember; only the living send us signs!

Going on I described in great detail the dream visit that occurred about 4 months after Quinton transitioned, as one of the keys to a dream visit is the detail. Dreams are typically blurry, fuzzy and quickly forgotten but dream visits are often described as seemingly real, life-like, having incredible detail, never forgotten which makes the occurrence less a dream and more of a visit. As I described Quinton’s visit with me all those years ago and about 4 months after he transitioned, I described the feeling of catching him when he jumped toward me. I remember the feeling well and described it as “the most amazing sense of peace” as I caught him and held him close. Another gentleman on the call spoke up and thanked me for providing words to describe his experience with his child’s visit. That sense of peace is what our children wish to impart to us, on us and within us.

Mike and gentlemen of Helping Father’s Heal, thank you for asking me to share. I hope and pray doing so, helped you to look at your journey from a slightly different perspective. Remember, only the living send us signs!

Peace,

Saturday, 07 August 2021 12:30

No Coincidences

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Late in June Mike Edwards from the Helping Parent’s Heal affiliate group, Helping Father’s Heal reached out to me on messenger, inviting me to speak with the group on July 21st. On the same day, a gentleman I met at Unity of Phoenix last year who interviewed me for his podcast, out of nowhere, sent an animation of a portion of that interview that impacted him the most. Wait…   Also, on that same day, I met with a gentleman named Tom (for those that know me / remember what they heard or read, you may remember the name – Tom). It is no coincidence that all of this happened in one day! I think of our son, Quinton often, but this day was a bit over the top; Quinton is Still Right Here, just like your children are Still Right Here. The challenge of course is to recognize those subtle or not so subtle signs.

During this week, I was taking a teammate to visit three properties we manage together, to introduce her to physical assets and visit with some of the tenants. We left the office at 7:30 and by 8:15 we were almost to the furthest properties. She is relatively new to the company and doesn’t know “us”. After introducing her to Quinton, because that is still what I do, we pulled up alongside a truck driven by an individual I have written about before. I met with this man several months prior, just a couple of days after his step-daughter transitioned. For those that remember, it was an incredibly powerful meeting. So, to meet him on the road out in the middle of nowhere mere minutes after speaking of Quinton was, shall we say, significant! I honked, lowered my window and waived to get his attention. We pulled over together and caught up; he indicated he was coming to see me later in the day, but now didn’t have to. I wrapped him in my arms just like the first time we met, letting him know “we” are always there for him and his partner. Again, not a coincidence that I speak of Quinton and like magic, suddenly my friend is there whom I had introduced to Quinton in the moment he needed an angle, nearly a year prior.

Also this week, our friend and my Brother Jason texted me one evening; Jason shared that I had at least one more challenge to face and also told me Quinton was with him. I was sitting on the couch with my lovely wife Kristine watching Loki on the tube as this text conversation was taking place. My brother went on to describe how Quinton chose to reveal his physical appearance to him. I read what he shared with Kristine and she beamed, saying “I can see him looking just like that now”, after twelve years since he transitioned (I often wonder what he would look like now). And if that isn’t enough, just last night, Quinton came to Kristine while she slept and said, “Mom”. Woke her out of a deep sleep and she responded “What”? She was grateful for his sign, given how busy she has been. We both are grateful. While I can’t tell you exactly what it means, I can say there is a lot going on in our lives currently so knowing he is with us is comforting.

I don’t mind telling you, I struggle more and more with these columns. I have been speaking and writing for twelve years; I tire of hearing my voice say the same things and to see much the same words being printed on the screen. I do neither for me, only for you. The message in the words, whether spoken or written is sacred. Through the trials and tribulations, and through our collective pain comes the epiphany I still desperately share with you. Damn it – “There is NO DEATH, only a TRANSITION” and “KNOW THERE IS MORE”. Like it or not, you and me, our path exposes us to this sacred original truth known since the beginning and forgotten by most, only to be forced upon us now. And I will leave you with this, once you, as an individual remember this sacred lesson, be prepared to share the knowledge born out of tragedy with another when called upon to do so. That sharing starts by just being present while another is in pain; be with them and listen, then share if they too need to know – There Is More.

We love you and are here for you along our shared sacred journeys of discovery.

Namaste,

Sunday, 04 April 2021 13:54

How is it…

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After all the years that have passed, nearly forty to be exact, I open the top draw of my desk and find this poem by Ernest Dowson? Mr. Dowson lived from 1867 to 1900. The poem was paper clipped together with papers from my days in high school. There were various football plays and formations, and this poem. Why did I keep it all these years?

Vitae Summa Brevia Spem Nos

Vetat Incohare Longam

They are not long, the weeping and the laughter,

Love and desire and hate:

I think they have no portion in us after

We pass the gate

They are not long, the days of wine and roses;

Out of a misty dream

Our path emerges for a while, then closes

                                                                                                                                                                                                                              Within a dream.                       

The translation of the title is “The brief sum of Life denies us the hope of enduring long,” but after all these years of joy and pain, trials and epiphanies both before and after our beloved son Quinton’s transition; the title takes on a more nuanced context.

Within the first quatrain, what grabs my attention is the concept that we exist beyond the flesh, existing after crossing the threshold. Going a bit deeper still, the acknowledgement that the emotions, especially hate, are not carried forward. As you would expect, this coincides with what Quinton has shown us and continues to show us; furthermore, this coincides with what the multitudes are being shown after the transition of their loved ones.

Within the second quatrain and the title of poem for that matter, I am touched by the brevity of the individual lifetime. Our time here in the physical realm has, time and time again, been described as the blink of an eye in “Heaven” or as a non-physical being. Additionally, our time here has been described as a dream by many and here the concept is again within a poem penned in 1896 and first published in 1900.

Again, why do I still have this in my desk? This is a rhetorical question as naturally, at this point, the answer is known. This path, my journey of this lifetime, was all along meant to include these concepts and more so, delve deeper into them. Over my years I have read so much across genres from nearly everything Stephen King, dozens and dozens of book on Spirituality, the Bible and books on religion, and books about my ethnicity. I have spent years lost in reading, only to stop after seemingly read it all only to find I was wrong. I have not read it all and moreover, am still learning.

While I continue to learn, I can’t help but be weighed down on the meaninglessness of the “news” and the endless box checking exercises endured to earn income. Furthermore, some within my circle have drawn my attention back to the caste system in our own country that permeates so much. I am reminded of my Blackness (I am nearly the only one who knows other than family); books like The New Jim Crow and The Warmth of Other Suns (and two more in the queue to read) weigh heavy on my soul in the matter of fact telling of what has been and what is…. Okay, big breath: in with the good and out with the rest.

Now is the time to lean into my Spiritual lessons imparted by Quinton. We understand the school house. The passion and beauty abounds everywhere while the absurd is so absurd that its purpose is exposed. Again and again, we get to choose – high road or low road; we get to choose to be part of the solution or part of the problem. But let us not forget, of the world’s population currently 7,856,829,495 and counting, most of “us” are good even though some would have us think otherwise.

Our time here is fleeting and the hour grows late. I will endeavor the make the most of it. The absurd is so absurd, the only choice I have now is to pray and meditate. J Yup, I can be stubborn as I sit and smile; this should have been my first choice all along.

I leave you with this. Do you think Spirit has color or sex or sexuality or a political party or even a religion? The answer is No – which makes the walls we build between ourselves even more absurd.

Namaste

Tuesday, 16 February 2021 04:21

Honoring our children

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I come from a generation where one of the overriding hopes of our parents was that their children would have more opportunities, chances of success and simply a more enjoyable life than they had. I look at my parents and know their hopes and wishes have in large part been fulfilled. For you, my wife and I, we are faced with a different scenario. In that different scenario, it is our children who are giving us an opportunity to see the world through a different lens, a lens that offers the prospect of rapidly accelerated spiritual growth. And our child / children do so out of their love for us.

These words in all likelihood are meaningless in the throes of the initial stages of shock and grief. The processing of a world turned upside down is a process that cannot be rushed, occurring at its own timeline without judgement or haste. We purge the heavy emotions, crying and weeping as we wash them away, and then filling that space with all the fond memories. At some point when the immense waves of grief begin to lessen or change, I refer you back to the opening paragraph and embrace how much our son / daughter loves us (present tense, not past).

On this new path, we are introduced to the concept of soul contracts and soul families. I encountered this concept in Brian Weiss books (Many Lives, Many Masters and Messages from the Masters) and more directly in the Michael Newton books (Journey of Souls and Destiny of Souls). If you are willing to explore this concept, its premise is we reincarnate often with the same souls who make up our soul family; In doing so we typically take on different roles as we learn and grow. Brian Weiss says it well on page 2 of Messages from the Masters, “I believe we do reincarnate until we learn our lessons and graduate. And, as I have repeatedly pointed out, there is considerable historical and clinical evidence that reincarnation is a reality.” To close the loop here, not long after Quinton transitioned and I began my pilgrimage to obtain an inkling of what was going on, I was told “Quinton and I had done this before, but I didn’t learn the lesson so the two of you decided to do it again.” That to me is the epitome of Love, Patience and Grace on Quinton’s part.

I endeavor not to tell you what to do; doing so is wrong on so many levels for I am no expert. We are all on the path, the same path leading to the same place and it is for us to find out what that means. However, what I can do is tell you what I do, which is to honor our son, Quinton with my actions, words and thoughts. Our shared journey of grief and awakening is a sacred and accelerated journey to a higher awareness – if we accept is as such. Then it is up to us an individual to decide what to do with that higher awareness. Quotes such as this are like bread crumbs leading toward a new way of thinking about our time here; “Our lives are not the result of random actions and events. Lifetimes are wisely and carefully scripted to enhance our learning and evolution.” – Messages from the Masters, pg. 11.    

In honoring our child/children across the veil, how we do that is an individual journey as well. Given each of us are individuals and along different points of the same path, there just isn’t a “one size fits all” way. We should endeavor to understand that, to avoid any judgement of others for how they are progressing and for that matter, try not to be too hard on ourselves. Not one of us is perfect, which is why we are here together now, helping one another when called upon to do so.

Namaste,                                    

Monday, 18 January 2021 09:50

Soul

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I remember, quite vividly in fact, being literally on fire with the truth, the divine knowledge that Quinton lives. I would approach nearly anybody, maybe everybody to share what Quinton had revealed by his visits and signs. The more I shared that white hot energy of love, knowledge, gratitude and awe, the more it was shared back with me. You see, the Universe replied, “what you experienced is quite natural and happens to most, even if some don’t recognize it”.

In this mental and spiritual landscape of being awash with a new truth, I was even more amazed to find this truth in some mainstream Hollywood movies such as What Dreams May Come, Hereafter, Charlie St. Cloud and Heaven is For Real. Additionally, and let us not forget Collateral Beauty and The Shack. These movies and others touch upon that divine truth, we exist beyond the flesh. Some movies get into this sacred truth deeply while others just touch upon it briefly, but still it is impactful as we are forced to put on those, shall we say, more spiritual shoes for the first time…out of necessity.

Now there is a new movie out called Soul. I watched it the first time and I knew it was special, but I was unprepared for all that it was touching upon, so I watched it again a week later savoring this Disney movie as it depicts the transition of souls as they go into the light while fully aware. I further savored The Great Before as new souls are born and prepare to incarnate! Yes, there is so much more to “a lifetime!” Those are just two sacred concepts deeply woven into the movie and these are important concepts for us due to our shared journey, and it is important for those not on our sacred journey to be exposed to. The funny thing is they may consider it entertainment, not fully realizing the concepts are pertinent.

Even more impactful for me, eleven and one-half years after Quinton’s transition was what I felt a core theme; our time here is a gift and therefore sacred, each breath we take. As the movie neared its climax, at first subtly and then like a sledge hammer, the message was to be present, each breath, each sunrise and sunset, each smile, breeze, falling seed pod, and a good song that touches us deep in a forgotten place. For some of you, you are already there. Even though I Know There is More, too often forget to smell roses and be present to the beauty of our time here I am ashamed to say. So, that core message was for me made even more poignant, because here I remain working on my lessons while Q is at home.

I am actually thinking I may watch it every Sunday, to center my mind – as I enter each work week.  Yes, today was a good day and I hope yours was better than it might have been expected.

Namaste,

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